I found out today from my radio oncologist, who spoke with me for almost two hours, that I do indeed have invasive cancer and I have decided that I am going to have to go through radiation after all. I resisted it because lymphedema to my right arm, upon which my whole life and livelihood rests, scares me more than losing a breast. But now I believe that it would be foolish of me not to do it. I was so happy, feeling as if I was let out of prison, and now I feel reincarcerated. Sort of apt, don’t you think? Sort of incarcinoma-ed? I am not without courage but I am a wimp. Getting sucked into the medical machinery like this scares me silly.

My brother, a doctor, helped me read the pathology report. It was dense with scary language but he was a short cut to getting some of the terms. A website that also helped me was http://breastcancer.org/ A similar website, http://breastcancer.com/, suggests how Chinese medicine might enhance traditional Western treastments. I may explore this to support my own healing.